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I'm pretty sure most people don't even know I have one. Therefore I can rant freely because my brain is way too full, but this is not something I should advertise to a lot of people.

I am in a relationship. I have know my boyfriend since March, but we have been dating since late July. So, less than 4 months, and before we started dating we had a lot of drama.

I am happy with my boyfriend. He is very sweet, and funny, and I do love him.

However, I am realizing that he might be a lot more into the relationship than I am, considering the amount of time we've actually been dating. It's kind of funny, because before we started dating, all I wanted was to be with him, and I was all TRAGIC and junk, but now that we are actually dating, I'm content, but it's not like I want to marry him.

We talk about moving in together, and having all these cats and stuff, and it all sounds really fun, but I'm only 19. I'm not ready to commit myself so permanently to someone I've only been dating for like four months.

On that note, it's not like I want to break up with him. But there is an issue.

There is this guy. He was my coworker, which made him automatically off limits, making the fact that I thought he was cute not a problem. But then he quit, and numbers were exchanged. I honestly thought he was just being nice and didn't think he could actually text me.

Except he did. Like a lot. And then he said he wanted to hang out this weekend.

We are friends on Facebook, so I just assumed he knew I had a boyfriend. But then "hanging out" started to sound a lot more like a date. And I felt guilty, and asked him about it.

He did not know I had a boyfriend. He did want it to be a date. And now I feel like I led him on, which is making me feel bad.

What's making me feel even worse is the fact that I was really happy when he said he wanted it to be a date.

Someone with a boyfriend should not be stoked about that.

Ex-coworker became a little distant, but half heartedly asked if I wanted to get coffee sometime. And I do. Like, I really do.

I am the worst girlfriend ever. I do not want to break up with my boyfriend, especially over something that could just be a fling (ex-coworker is moving to another city next semester anyway). But I am finding myself questioning what else could be out there.

Brain = exploding.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
jikevamp
Apr. 13th, 2011 04:05 am (UTC)
keep posting like this it’s really very good idea, you are awesome!

bizetide
Apr. 13th, 2011 07:15 pm (UTC)
Hmmm for some reason only half the post can be seen. I tried reloading but still same.

shavercucu
Nov. 2nd, 2011 12:38 pm (UTC)
Couldnt agree more with that, very attractive article

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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